Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
