It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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