she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
