If that was your dad, he is hot
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
