took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I need water and some morals
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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