it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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