The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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