Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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