You just made me feel so damn special
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
