god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
