Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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