She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
