is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
