Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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