waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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