D3 body, D1 cock
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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