Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
