I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
