I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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