I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
