i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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