so that wasnt chicken after all
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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