he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
