Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
