You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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