right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
