I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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