What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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