Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
