My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I lost the right to judge tonight
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
