If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My balls are so social today.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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