I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
