no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
