I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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