Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
