She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
