when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
