there's paper in my vomit.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
