On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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