Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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