So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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