so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
