dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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