im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
