we're blogging at a bar
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
