Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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