she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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