Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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