Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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