does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
