I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
