Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
