Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
