I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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