If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
