There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
